OM STORIES
Meet-Up Spotlight: Ohio's Maggie
Meet Maggie, our Ohio Meet-Up group leader. Her connection to Outdoor Mindset runs deep and we're fortunate to have her as part of the OM family. Here she tells her story about her neurological history that has an amazing outcome... because it brought her to our organization!
Meet Maggie, our Ohio Meet-Up group leader. Her connection to Outdoor Mindset runs deep and we're fortunate to have her as part of the OM family. Here she tells her story about her neurological history that has an amazing outcome... because it brought her to our organization!
"I remember one day when I was probably a junior or senior in high school. I came home from school in severe pain and instead of going straight to bed or taking a hot bath, my anger got the better of me and I decided to go for a run. I was so sick and tired of the constant pain and the feeling that I couldn't really be myself. I was fed up and pissed off. So I put on my running shoes and ran.
I don't remember running, but I do remember stumbling into the house about twenty minutes later, doubled over, pressing the palms of my hands into my forehead as hard as I could to keep myself from vomiting. I could hardly see; everything was too bright and blurry. I couldn't talk, because my own voice triggered a chain reaction, starting with the nerves behind my right eye and radiating down my spine. I couldn't eat, because the nausea made it impossible to swallow. At that point, there was nothing I could do but crawl in bed and wait it out. The next day would be the same, but about 15 hours of sleep might give me the energy it would take to make it through school the next day.
It's strange to look back over the last 10-15 years and realize how much has changed. In the days before I found an effective treatment, it was hard to even imagine spending more than a day without pain or nausea. Now, my bad days are few and far between, and I feel like I finally have the ability to be myself and do the things I want to do.
I was finally diagnosed with migraine after my family doctor put the pieces of my genetic puzzle together: my dad had mostly recovered, but had suffered from severe migraine when he was younger, and while my symptoms presented differently, they all pointed to migraine. At the time, I didn't really understand what that meant. I later learned that migraine is actually a brain disease that affects the entire central nervous system, and it explained the severe stomach pain and nausea I'd experienced when I was younger, as well as the cognitive impairment and other symptoms. Several years later, when I was in college in Kentucky, I was also diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which could have a connection to migraine and contributed to the severe fatigue.
During the two years I was in Kentucky, I struggled with pain, nausea, fatigue and sometimes even cognitive impairment, making it difficult to have a normal social life and succeed in school. Medications I had tried before just made me sick, and I didn't know if I would ever find a treatment that would help me be "normal," whatever that meant for me. At the time, I just wanted to be free from the pain. But I didn't realize how many areas of my life were affected until I got better.
When I transferred to go to school back home, I spent the summer working with my doctor to find a treatment. Around the time school started, I was beginning to adjust to the medication that would change my life. I was starting at a new school, with a new major and hoping and praying that this time things would be different. I didn't really like high school, so I had always looked forward to college: the chance to start over, study things I actually cared about and get the real "college experience." Kentucky had been a bust, but going into my junior year armed with a medication that actually worked, I knew things could be different.
And things
were
very different. I was no longer afraid to be around people, worried of what they would think when I couldn't keep up with the conversation or it took me an unusually long time to respond to a question. I could go to events and meet new people, because I was there to have fun, not to merely survive until I could get back into bed. I could run for fun; I could go to parties; I could even speak up in class discussions, because I was able to follow them. That's when I realized how much I had been missing out on. It wasn't just the physical pain and limitations that had made things so difficult, I had also lost my personality, my passion and my ability to make connections with other people. I literally didn't know who I was. It was almost like meeting myself for the first time; I learned that I was actually an extrovert and loved meeting new people. I found a passion for fitness, running, biking and other outdoor activities. I joined a sorority and found out that event planning and fundraising was another passion of mine. I learned photography and picked it up as a minor, because why not? I took advantage of every opportunity I could, and I wasn't afraid to try new things.
When I ran across the Outdoor Mindset
website, I had no idea there was already an organization that combined some of the things I care about most. I am now a trainer for Planet Fitness and I'd eventually like to specialize in working with clients who have neurological challenges and mental illnesses. I feel like I can relate to some of the challenges that those with neurological diseases face, and I know from experience how exercise can change lives.
I also know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care and support each other, especially when you're facing a chronic illness or disability. I was lucky to have my family and a few close friends by my side while I struggled with my illness, and I don't know what I would've done without them. That's why I'm so excited to be a part of Outdoor Mindset and grow a community in Ohio. Through outdoor activity and social connections, we CAN make a difference in the lives of those with neurological challenges!"
Possibilities
Here he goes:
Tonight was a full moon night. Cold, semi clear, and brightly illuminated. As a celestial event, I am often amazed by how many people fail to recognize this regular events passing. After all, it has an effect upon all of us that is often unrecognized, and in profound ways. Growing cycles in agriculture which dictate for many growers when to plant and when to harvest. Tidal movements in the ocean which dictate when to leave a safe harbor, or when to enter one. A full moon always seems to be the highlight of the lunar cycle. Taking a moment to enjoy the sight is always worth it.
Tonight's full moon was especially opportunistic. It seems like I used to take more advantage of the light nights to get outside more. To go for a snowshoe, have a bonfire on the beach, and just enjoy the event on a regular basis. When my friends decided to cancel and stay inside tonight instead of go for a snowshoe, I almost plopped in front of the tv for dinner and a movie. Why I didn't though is at the essence of all this full moon talk.
I got some great news today. It was news I hoped for. But it was news that confirmed my fears could be laid aside for a while longer. My doctor called today and said that my brain tumor looks to be shrinking. It is supposed to be dead, but retains its presence for some odd reason. That it is shrinking, is indeed great news. Suddenly, the world was again full of new possibilities. Suddenly the air smelled sweeter. Howling at the moon was suddenly an excellent idea.
Possibilities. That is what this is about. Socrates in all his ancient wisdom decided that if one were to search for truth, all you had to do was to think critically, remove all the "wrong" ideas, and ultimately you would be left with the "truth". The problem with that though, is that to think critically all the time, you end up losing sight of the experience. You get stuck in a negative rut analyzing what is wrong, and not seeing what is right. You never get outside and enjoy the full moon because it is cold, you have a brain tumor, you are tired, your afraid of everything not "right".
When you find out you have serious health issue life become simple. It becomes about survival. Life and death stuff, what movies are made about. All the silly petty crap like what "lifestyle" you have, the car you drive, it all gets gently slammed into place in the time it takes for a doctor to tell you what's wrong. But what is amazing, is what things emerge from the chaos and rise to the top of the pile as important. As essential actually. It seems like the short list is really a list of what makes life important to us individually. Usually friends and family top the list, not house and job. "You never know what you've got till you loose it," is a classic saying, but it is truly a hard lesson to learn.
Some of the greatest people I know have lost nearly everything. But you wouldn't know it. They live life at a pace that is staggering to watch. They have been knocked down, and get back up rejuvenated to enjoy, appreciate, and share what they have, with a smile on their face. It seems like neurological disorders give you a choice. You can give up, or you can get up.
Outdoor Mindset is comprised of a group of people who appreciate what they've got. Some almost lost it before they realized it. Some have learned to appreciate what they have by watching others. Either way, the emphasis in OM is about the possibilities. There are a million ways to appreciate whatever good health we have. It might be cycling across a continent solo. Or it might be going for a full moon walk with friends. Either way, the level of appreciation is the same. It is about taking each and every second, and making it count. Why go out and enjoy the full moon? Because you can.
Jesse Horton
President and Chief Mischief Officer, Walt Horton Studios
Hope everyone is having a fabulous day!
Jill